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November 17th, 2009
_chloedancer
 | 09:47 am - That Thing Called Death
I'll never be good at coping with it, I think.
Miss Daday, one of the sweet accounting ladies here in the office passed away last Saturday. While I was reveling and enjoying myself, a dear woman that I knew was embarking on her last moments. She was the one I had to approach whenever I had to request money to buy some items for the shops, or whenever I had my transportation costs reimbursed each time I did one of my grueling store visits.
There was a time she was gently reminding me to have one of my forms liquidated, and it took me days to tell her that it took me forever that time because I lost my receipts during the chaos of organizing one of our events. I was bracing myself to cough out the cost, but she told me it was alright and all I needed was our sales manager to vouch for my word.
Last week, all was not well with me and the way I coped was to throw myself into work. I was tasked to visit 6 stores in 2 days (from Trinoma to Alabang Town Center), and I quietly accepted the job without any complaints. Miss Daday was the one who saw me through, making sure I had enough money to make all those trips. That was the last I saw her alive, last Thursday... when she was opening the drawer to pull out an envelope to give me my money, and reassuring me that if it wasn't enough I could have it reimbursed the next day.
She was only 46 and she left behind a husband and three very young children. It took me a while to walk up to her casket. In fact, I only summoned the nerve to do it when I was about to leave already.
I'm not very good with loss. One of the most painful memories I can muster was when my paternal grandfather died in 2001. I was inconsolable and on the verge of a mental breakdown. I can still remember that day, when our family driver picked up my siblings and I from school and suddenly made a detour to Manila Memorial Park in Sucat. We had no idea what was happening, but the three of us started piecing everything together. We were huddled with our father underneath a tree in one of the nearby plots, and started crying.
I refused to watch the cremation. Later that night, when my clan assembled at the funeral chapel, I broke away and ran back to my grandparents' house nearby. I walked up the stairs to the room that my grandfather was supposed to use for home treatment, as my family decided to take him away from the hospital already.
He never lived to see that room, and I was there on its padded bench, hugging my knees, and crying and crying. My dad had to go get me, for I was a stubborn 15 year old that refused to move.
Last night, I picked up my bag and walked out to the street to flag down a cab. I was in Novaliches, a place that might as well been the province. As I got down and shelled out one hundred peso bills to pay my fare, I stepped out of the cab wondering if the office would reimburse it as an office expense.
Oh. Right.
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charlesatan
 | 07:21 am - November 17, 2009 Links and Plugs
My interview with Jamil Nasir is now up.
Back to scheduled programming.
Interviews
Advice/Articles
And because Angela Slatter is blackmailing me:
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wring
 | 11:11 am - Hobo
Hobo
Originally uploaded by wring
Welcome to east sac
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chuvaness
 | 02:56 am - Crazy day
Hoy mga chismoso! just kidding. :)
I got 36,000 hits on the blog yesterday, and 16,700 unique visitors. I wonder how many Coconuter got.
You must be wondering who the Coconuter is. I blogged about him before.
( Here's his story )
I used to follow his blog until he moved to the States, married his Filipina girlfriend, etc., and kind of lost interest.
Moving along, someone sent me this link to Manny Pacquiao driving away after his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel on November 3. This was before Jinkee Pacquiao left for Las Vegas on November 8.
Look closely and you'll see a woman in the front seat of the car (look left) covering her face, and it's not Mommy Dionisia okay.
Now watch
This one's a bit hard to look at. So I heard Manny and Jinkee were not in speaking terms weeks before the fight, and still not speaking on the bus going to Los Angeles. I feel for this woman. She loved him first, she loved him poor. Now he's a gazillionaire and everyone's out to get a piece or chunk of it.
Are you just going to watch and give him up to any gold digger?
What a crazy day it was. I'm sure more crazy for others than for me.
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November 16th, 2009
wring
| 08:04 am - yknow
this conversation would never happen in a gay marriage
and so I can stare at this picture everytime I go to lj:
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wicked_lass
 | 08:14 pm - Hello, is it me you're looking for?
HI!
I haven't been here for almost a year. I just logged in to search some entry from 2003 but I couldn't find it. ANYWAY, it wasn't fun reading old entries, hahaha! I sounded really stupid =P
SO there, hello LJ friends. I dunno who's here. And if anyone's doing this pa rin. Find me in facebook or let's tweet.
Oh the wonders of technology. Bye!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/smile.gif) chipper
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absinthe_rocks
 | 06:14 pm - the librarian and the pop star
Yellow Cab + Starbucks + Librarian Lesly/Lesly Palin + sunburned Korean pop star boyfriend Daryl = LOVE
Today we had our very first date. It was a lot different from the ones that I had with my two exes. Back then, it was tense, we were worried about getting off on the wrong foot, ruining the relationship potential and what other people thought about us when they saw us...things like that. If I recall correctly, one was afraid of holding my hand because someone might see us. They were great first dates, but they weren't Crocs.
What do I mean by that?
The Crocs factor: Crocs are kinda weird. Not everyone likes them--heck, some people think they're downright ugly, including me. But they're hella comfortable. You know they feel good so you just slip them on and ignore the comments of your friends. High heels are pretty and people think they make you look slightly more attractive, but after a while, they'll kill your feet.
My relationship with Daryl is like wearing Crocs. We're crazy, and not everyone gets our quirks and the way we show love--a very strong, emotionally volatile love that may come off clingy to some people. We've had our share of remarks and cold shoulders from friends who aren't liking this relationship because they think it's way too soon and that I'm still a mess. Still, we go for it anyway. It feels right. It's a way to get rid of those high-heel relationships I had--the ones that seemed right to me because other people approved and we seemed so good together--and go somewhere where I'm happy to be myself, weirdness and all. I'm glad I'm Daryl's pair of Crocs and that he's mine.
All the things our former lovers couldn't accept about us--the passion, the odd sense of humor, the interests, the way we deal with our problems--we see those and we embrace them in each other as part of someone we love. Some say that opposites attract. That's true. But after a while, the differences can grate at you. Daryl and I are so similar that we have no problem just being our random, burst-into-song selves. We've been friends for so long and seen so much of each other, both the good and the bad things, that there's nothing to hide. I knew there was a reason why I found it so easy to tell him anything.
That reason is why we're together now.
Happy first date, Huggle. :3
Current Location: ottoman
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/opiummmm/foxies/happy.gif) happy
Current Music: Embers-Just Jack
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zeeheehee
 | 04:56 pm - Diyosme..
Napa gastos tuloy ako ng di oras..just to make myself feel better. Argh! At least it's something I can use.
My hair is already too short to cut any further and I seriously miss my long hair.. so a haircut is out of the question and it isn't worth a drastic haircut.
I need a distraction. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cawees_ cyrano? hahaha!
I hope my new toy will distract me enough because I really feel like an idiot.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/alphyna/pp/silly.png) silly
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pandaemoneon
 | 04:25 pm - let's call my friend, bob.
 me and bob met online more than a year ago and bonded over a common liking for flared pants. according to him, the easiest place to find flared pants is in northern india where almost every guy wears them.
bob is the only person i know of who speaks nepali, aside from 5 other languages. i could only speak 2, and understand a little of a 3rd language. but hey, the guy knows nepali. true he can't speak to anyone in nepali here but still -- how cool is that?
even before i moved to mandaluyong, i've been asking him that we meet up for a few drinks. when i moved to manda (where he also lives), i always invite him whenever i have friends over at the chairless apartment. but we never met until last night in this diner along shaw near cherry foodarama. appropriately, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
the guy is sporting a mohawk right now and is considering getting a mullet. of course i am morally obliged to stop utterly ridiculous ideas like that, despite being me being prone to utterly ridiculous ideas myself.
i was the only one who had a bottle of beer. and while i was drinking my beer and mosquitoes were drinking his blood, we talked about missing pants, awesome drunken moments, aling dionisia, boys, and beer bellies. he ordered fried tofu with some mildly spicy but remarkably tasteless sauce, while i thought i ordered chicken bolognese pasta but was served pasta with chicken, mushrooms and a sweet and sour coconut-based sauce.
for a spur-of-the-moment thing, it wasn't bad at all.
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volcanogirl28
 | 03:26 pm - It's the season for baking
So we had a bazaar this weekend and it sucked eggs. Not a lot of people showed up, and I think a big chunk is because it wasn't that publicized. Anyway, so Saturday evening I decided it was time to make a new batch of vanilla extract.
I know of some people who reuse the vanilla beans they ferment in the same jar, but I sincerely doubt the flavor/essence won't ever run out (as some people say). Anyway, I didn't have any more Russian vodka that our wine supplier gave us, so I used Skyy Vodka.
See you in May 2010, lover!
Also, I made some gingerbread cookies. Whee!
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_chloedancer
 | 03:24 pm - Multi-sensory Aesthetic Experience!
This is Mae. Sib randomly texted if I wanted to go see Katy Perry, but I had to make
another appearance at his radio show. "Oh, screw Katy Perry," was what I said.
She was actually good though, oh yes. I love her now.
This is me with Niche, my date for the night. Together we relived being 19 again.
This is me with Jacob Marshall. Fan Girl Moment #2 of 2009.
He smelled nice.
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nosleepdreamer
 | 12:57 pm - Things.
The sem has started. And I predict a busy, busy, stressful sem.
Arturo Ui has begun. And things have been frustrating me with staffing. Like, I don't mind that I have a co-SM. But having my co-SM changed all the time isn't something that I bargained for. For once, I don't want to feel like just a staff or an assistant. I wanna head. There's a reason why I signed up for this. I want to learn and hone my leadership skillz. As lazy as I am, and as much as I don't want to start with prod yet, it's all I have.
My subjects also require a lot of attention. I can feel it, this is going to be an academically demanding sem. I mean, my subjects are fun, I'm just the least academically inclined person you'll ever meet. But I have to make up for the lack of effort last sem. Anyway, I only have one prod. The attention shouldn't shift too far, I hope.
The climbing comp finally happened the other day. Didn't win, but my performance was WAY better than that of Love on the Rocks. :) I'm pretty okay with things. I'm very proud of my orgmates who won. And Carlo Yao is the best partner evaaaar! Someday, I will deservingly win a title. But for now, deep shit training! :D Now, I wonder how I'll be able to achieve that with prodwork in the way? Gah.
Oh, and Nanu's birthday party also happened yesterday. This was a party that we had been planning for for months. Yey for success, good food, an entertaining presentation (Frank Sinatra and The Wonder Girls, FTW), and the best, most attention seeking, vainest, most loving and crazy family EVER. :D
Friends things. Things have been okay steady. I've calmed down, and I have decided not to care about the issue. Shallowness still ensues, but things are steady. I can't blame anyone for having an opinion. Everyone is entitled to it. Compromise. I think that's the key to things as of the moment. It's not like its a problem that should really eat me up. In fact, it really shouldn't. So yeah. Steady. This, too, shall pass.
Boythings. So I was never comfortable posting about boys in my LJ. For some reason, it seems to be the most shallow thing to talk about in a public blog. That's why I usually do it anonymously. I have my private blog for that. Hahahaha. But anyway, just so that it's here. I've been missing Stan lately (wow, NAMES). I've been officially over him since August. But lately, I've just been missing the feeling I had for him. Things were safer. But it's useless to go back to that now. It's not like I would do anything. I would want to. But not under the current circumstances.
And then there's guy no. 2 who shall remain nameless as of the moment. Everyone knows who he is anyway. He's someone I've liked for a very long time, but never had anything concrete with. We're close, and we've talked about who we are to each other more than once. "Ok lang maging close. Wag lang maattach." And it shall remain at that. But lately, we've been kinda too close for our own good. The agreement still remains, but I can't deny that I haven't been liking him any less. I'd like to keep things the way they are, but I think at this point, that's just asking for too much. Not to mention, people have been concerned that it's not good for me. It's not that he's not good for me, it's more of being close with him isn't, in spite of talking about it with him and saying it's okay. So right now, I think it's best for me to keep my distance. It's not something I want to do. Truth be told, it hurts me staying away from him. But it's the right thing to do, for all of our sakes. Eventually, it might hurt more staying close to him. It never hurt before, but it might.
For some reason, I've been bitter about Christmas being so near already. Every time I hear Christmas songs and see Christmasy things, I'm like, "Argh, Pasko na. :/" I don't know why. I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday. But the year has been just too fast for it to be Christmas. I mean, I'm excited for my birthday. I never wasn't. I'm excited to turn 20! But for some strange bizarre reason, I'm all, "Oh, ew. Christmas." I even reacted that way when mom told me that Advent is starting next week. It's so freaking near!! Gah. I hope this passes. I want to enjoy Christmas. Carlo Yao! We should have a Christmas/Birthday date!
Oh, BTW. I'm officially dating Carlo Yao. HAHA. I'm just rubbing it in the face of the internet, aren't I? Tae.
So those are my things. Now, I have to go do some prodwork stuff. EH. I hate things being said to me in such short notice. This prod had better be worth it!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i74/ialapid/Misc/SA%20Mood%20Theme/stressed.png) stressed
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inabear
 | 11:24 am - Nanu's Birthday
Yay it's over! I can finally stop worrying about it. And get on with other goings on in my life. Yesterday we celebrated Nanu's 80th Birthday! It was a bit of an undertaking. Not really as complicated as other events I've organized, but it had it's unique challenges. Funny how, while I'm really glad it's over, I also have to admit to myself that I enjoyed organizing that party. It was really quite fun. And highly satisfying. Especially now that it's over.
If you've been reading this blog for more than two years, or, if you're like Tita Anette who started recently but read everything from the beginning (the thought still amazes me), you would know that parties like these are a matter of course. Two years ago we threw Nana a surprise 80th birthday party. Which is one in a long line of Mantaring Family bashes that include any or all of the following: costumes, singing, dancing, a complicated music video, and general making fools of ourselves in front of relatives and friends. At Nana's party, the Uncles and Aunts generation exempted themselves from the "making fools of ourselves" part and delegated that to us, the Cousins generation. And I, being the eldest cousin, had no choice but to be overall coordinator of the production number.
I guess they were impressed at how I managed to pull that off, 14 cousins, one in the States that had to be videoed beforehand, plus one cousin-in-law (Mike) and one great grand child (Lia) into a cohesive number, that this year, for Nanu, they made me in charge of coordinating the whole party. Great. And technically I've been preparing for this since June, but so many things got in the way, it was almost de ja vu. Another cousin was leaving for the States and I had to video her before she left. I got pregnant. Plus a whole lot of life got in the way. We moved, there was the storm, my sister-in-law gave birth, etc etc etc. I really didn't feel as on top of things as I like to be with this event. I started getting my act together, October na! Less than two months before the party, and there weren't any invitations yet! But then again, it took us a month and a half to organize my whole wedding, so I guess an 80th birthday with 143 guests can't be considered much of a feat. Hahaha!
The difficult thing about organizing a family party is that it's a FAMILY party. You can't really just say, Mom, do this, Tito, do that. I can do that to my siblings, and my cousins, theoretically, as long as none of the things I ask get in the way of, you know, their LIFE. But on the whole, I feel I have to be a little more sensitive about assigning tasks to relatives. Especially relatives I've been taught all my life to follow and obey.
The fun and easy thing about organizing a family party is that it's THIS FAMILY. As I've mentioned before, the Mantarings are never happier than when they're showing off on stage. Geez! And even my uncles, who have pre-exempted themselves from performing, suddenly volunteered to sing when the decision was made to do Frank Sinatra songs. There's never any Sige na! Kanta ka na! or anything like that. My cousins generally don't have any suggestions on what they want to do for the show, but once the decision is made, everyone just does their best. Yes, even the shy ones, even the ones with two left feet and no singing talent. And there are, like two or three. Haha! Isa na ako sa no singing talent. Which is why I stick to dancing. Pero siyempre dinadaan sa charm. At Hello. These performances don't have to be perfect. After all, hindi naman nagbayad yung guests para makita kami sumayaw at kumanta diba? At sila ba may mga apong nagga-ganito? I don't think so. So there.
As it was, we are a whole clan of crammers. So even with just three weeks to put together a show and iron out the details of the party, everyone jumped in and did their part, spent sleepless nights on their assignments, even coming up with last minute contributions, like a whole original song composition and MTV, giveaways, etc. And even if we were never able to gather EVERYONE for a whole complete run through of the program, and even though the party was right on top of yesterday's Manny Pacquiao fight, it was a lot of fun and a smashing success. If I do say so myself. Not only in organization and entertainment value, but also in the amount we raised for the charity Nanu chose to give all his gifts to.
On the whole I think it was a smashing great party because it made Nanu happy. He didn't want to push through with the party anymore, because he felt it wasn't right to spend so much on a celebration when so many people lost so much during Ondoy. And now I know this solidarity thing is hereditary because I know I often feel that way. Spending on parties seems so frivolous sometimes. But we had to push through with the party because if any grandfather deserved an 80th birthday extravaganza, it has to be my Nanu. Who is STILL the active head of his company, jets around the country and the world like it's routine, texts me on my birthday, emails regularly, and has a Facebook account. Also, my Tito already made the downpayment on the venue and that's not refundable. Hehe. I'm sure he's glad we pushed through with it, because he got to see a lot of old friends and relatives, plus his friends all came through for him and we were able to give a significant amount to the beneficiary church, one among the hardest hit by Ondoy in Quezon City.
Oh! Oh! And special added bonus! My children actually danced! While the boys sang Frank Sinatra songs, us girls (the few that are left) danced Nobody by the Wonder Girls. And Lia danced the whole thing! Mostly ignoring our authentic Wonder Girls dance steps and doing her own kindergarten steps. And Desi! I'm just happy she didn't jump off the stage! She just stood there in front of us. She did a few finger wags and claps and points, and then she just stood there, perplexed and sleepy until the song ended. I am beyond proud! I've been telling Lia for weeks now, that she has to dance at our 50th Wedding Anniversary. And she said, OK. Yay!
 Ashushwal, I have no photos. I had to be on top of everything, AND acted as videographer so I had no time to take any pictures AT ALL. I'm hoping my aunts took some, but I'll have to wait for them to upload on their multiply sites. And we had an official photographer. Sosyal, Eddieboy Escudero. He did our wedding, and he's the funnest photographer I know. I guess it helps we're related to him. Anyway, we will have to wait for his photos too. I have a few videos but they still have to be converted. And also they feature Mike singing and me dancing, so that's not really fit for internet consumption. So, sorry Tina and Carlo, photos will just have to wait. For now, this is my Nanu when he was in college. Wasn't he pogi? They rarely make men like they used to. Happy Birthday Nanu! I'm so proud to be your granddaughter.
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y_slaybelle
 | 11:30 am - Slow year for reading!
Made matters worse by choosing, this late in the year, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is a heavy brick of a book. I've been reading thinner books in between chapters to make up for it.
23. Slaughter-House Five - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
I'm proud of myself for getting the hang of it eventually. And I got it by imagining it was Time Traveler's Wife For Guys.
24. The Rachel Papers - Martin Amis
Just OK. It's not going on the display shelf.
25. Trese: Mass Murders - Budjette Tan/Kajo Baldissimo
Awesome, but I already said that.
26. How Mookie Got a Life - Abi Malonzo
The parade of interesting men was cool, but ultimately distracted from the relationship I was supposed to root for.
27. 12 Steps to Quitting AJ - Faye Ilogon
I appreciate the wit and sass of this one. If I may nitpick though -- the references, while fun and contribute greatly to the wit and sass, are very, very specific to an age group (mine). My sister who is 3 years younger won't be able to relate. And how about people born ten years later, which I assume would be the bulk of the readership for these books?
Having said that, I totally relate, so it was fun.
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_chloedancer
 | 09:51 am - The Business of Being Irrational
I hate being irrational. I'm one of the most logic-driven people you will ever meet. Don't confuse that with being left-brained because I'm still very inept with matters of mathematics and hard science. I'm so bad that there's a math pun about rational numbers ready to be dropped, but since I can't remember what they are, out the window the pun goes.
I'm very rational in the sense that I believe each cause merits an effect, or action merits reaction. That's a Newton law, isn't it? That's something to think about, if Newton's Laws are my religion. I also don't have patience for quibbling. Quibbling is a word that my family is very fond of using, but it's a word that I hardly hear in my circles. I'll use "quibble" and some people will think it's a Harry Potter reference. To quibble means senselessly straying from the main point and having a really muddled reasoning for things.
In my house, my mom will sometimes ask you why you forgot to switch off the lights in your bedroom when you went out. You will be quibbling if you go through a long story of, "I had a big fight with my best friend and it has been bothering me the whole day because she's been taking it out on me..." or "I was in a hurry, and it was the last thing on my mind because I was already late in submitting my paper and then the beadle texted..." This will piss her off. I know so, not only because she's my mother, but also because I myself find it annoying and insulting to my intelligence.
The only correct answer is to say, "I'm sorry, I'll remember to do it next time." At an early age (and through a lot of fiery arguments), I've learned the significance of addressing the big picture. What was the problem? You forgetting. How do you remedy it? Do better. Simple!
The sob stories do factor in, but I've been raised to recognize its potential for being counterproductive. The real issue at hand is a problem, and with a problem, you're supposed to find a solution. This is how my mind works. You fuck up, then take action. Stop crying. When steps have been done to remedy a situation, then we can have ice cream and talk about feelings.
Sometimes I feel like we go down the road of sob stories because we are so afraid of admitting the truth and taking responsibility for what we do. In reality, when you just tell the truth, you leave with your integrity intact and the pain from it disappears after a while. When you drag out your feelings, hoping to gain sympathy, you drag on the drama. You drag out making solutions and healing, and it's bullshit.
Like you, Troy Dyer. Fucking stop acting out and go visit
"the land of the emotionally mature" sometime.
I've been accused of being cold and clinical, but it's strange how deep down inside, I'm the farthest thing from it. I may make the effort to handle the external battles with being rational, but everything I stand for on the inside is irrational. To define something as "irrational" simply means referring to things that cannot be explained. So in as much as I can be a robot, it's only because it's friendships, love, dreams, relationships that matter the most to me. I fall apart worse than most people I know when it's my heart that gets broken. It's not about material gain or personal achievement. I'm not saying they don't matter (they matter big time to me) but those mean shit when you can't experience having a quality life.
And to me a quality life is deriving joy and fulfillment from these unexplainables. I get down and dirty with systems and logic to milk the most from the unseen. I'm probably making things a lot more complicated than they should be, but then I never really knew how it feels to have an uncluttered mind.
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